Friday, February 5, 2010 - His predecessors had made a pistol and a...
His predecessors had made a pistol and a vizard
an overwhelming terror, and he did but profit by their tradition when he
bade the cowed traveller stand and deliver His profession, as he
practised it, neither demanded skill nor incurred danger Though he
threatened death at every encounter, you never hear that he pulled a trigger
throughout his career If his opponent jeered and rode off, he rode off
with a whole skin and a full pocket Once even this renowned adventurer
accepted the cut of a riding-whip across his face, nor made any attempt to
avenge the insult But his manifold shortcomings were no hindrance to
his success Wherever he went, between London and York, he stopped
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
coaches and levied his tax A threatening voice, an arched eyebrow, an
arrogant method of fingering an unloaded pistol, conspired with the craven,
indolent habit of the time to make his every journey a procession of
triumph He was capable of performing all such feats as the age required
of him But you miss the spirit, the bravery, the urbanity, and the wit,
which made the adventurer of the seventeenth century a figure of romance
One point only of the great tradition did Harry Simms remember He
was never unwilling to restore a trinket made precious balenciaga motorcycle bag by sentiment
Once when he took a gold ring from a gentleman's finger a gentlewoman
burst into tears, exclaiming, `There goes your father's ring' Whereupon
Simms threw all his booty into a hat, saying, `For God's sake, take that or
anything else you please' In all other respects he was a bully, with the
hesitancy of a coward, rather than the proper rival of Hind or Duval
Apart from the exercise of his trade, he was a very Mohock for brutality
He would ill-treat his victims, whenever their drunkenness permitted the
freedom, and he had no better gifts for the women who were kind to him
than cruelty and neglect One of his many imprisonments was the result
of a monstrous ferocity `Unluckily in a quarrel,' he tells you gravely, `I
ran a crab-stick into a woman's eye'; and well did he deserve his sojourn in
the New Prison At another time he rewarded the keeper of a coffee-
house, who supported him for six months, by stealing her watch; and,
when she grumbled at his insolence, he reflected, with a chuckle, that she
could more easily bear the loss of her watch than the loss of her lover
Even in his gaiety there was an unpleasant spice of greed and truculence
Once, when he was still seen in fashionable company, he went to a
masquerade, dressed in a rich Spanish habit, lent him by a Captain in the
Guards, and he made so fine a show that he louis vuitton purple bag captivated a young and
beautiful Cyprian, whom, when she would have treated him with
generosity, he did but reward with the loss of all her jewels
Moreover, he had so small a regard for his craft, that he would spoil
his effects by drink or debauchery; and, though a highwayman, he cared so
little for style, that he would as lief trick a drunken gamester as face his
man on Bagshot Heath or beneath the shade of Epping Forest You
admire not his success, because, like the success of the popular politician,
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
it depended rather upon his dupes than upon his merit You approve not
his raffish exploits in the hells of Covent Garden or Drury Lane But you
cannot withhold respect from his consistent dandyism, and you are
grateful for the record that, engaged in a mean enterprise, he was dressed
`in a green velvet frock and a short lac'd waistcoat' Above all, his
picturesque capture at Hockcliffe atones for much stupidity The
resolution, wavering at the wine glass, the last drunken ride from St
Albans--these are inventions in experience, which should make Simms
immortal And when he sits `by the fireside a good deal chagrined,' he
recalls the arrest of a far greater man--even of Cartouche, who was
surprised by the soldiers at his bedside rolex replica watch stitching a torn pair of breeches
His autobiography, wherein `he relates the truth as a dying man,' seemed
excellent in the eyes of Borrow, who loved it so well that he imagined a
sentence, ascribed it falsely to Simms, and then rewarded it with
extravagant applause
But Gentleman Harry knew how to tell a simple story, and the book,
`all wrote by myself while under sentence of death,' is his best
performance In action he had many faults, for, if he was a highwayman
among rakes, he was but a rake among highwaymen
III A PARALLEL
HAGGART and Simms are united in the praise of Borrow, and in the
generous applause of posterity Each resumes for his own generation the
prowess of his kind Each has assured his immortality by an experiment
in literature; and if epic simplicity and rapid narrative are the virtues of
biography, it is difficult to award the prize The Switcher preferred to
write in the rough lingo, wherein he best expressed himself He packs
his pages with ill-spelt slang, telling his story of thievery in the true
language of thieves Gentleman Harry, as became a person of quality,
mimicked the dialect wherewith he was familiar in the more fashionable
gambling-dens of Covent Garden Both write with out the smallest
suggestion of false shame or imitation louis vuitton wallets idle regret, and a natural vanity lifts each of
them out of the pit of commonplace on to the tableland of the heroic
A BOOK OF SCOUNDRELS
They set forth their depredation, as a victorious general might record his
triumphs, and they excel the nimblest Ordinary that ever penned a dying
speech in all the gifts of the historian
But when you leave the study for the field, the Switcher instantly
declares his superiority He had the happiness to practise his craft in its
heyday, while Simms knew but the fag- end of a noble tradition Haggart,
moreover, was an expert, pursuing a difficult art, while Simms was a bully,
plundering his betters by bluff Simms boasted no quality which might
be set off against the accurate delicacy of Haggart's hand The
Englishman grew rich upon a rolling eye and a rusty pistol He put on
his `fiercest manner,' and believed that the world would deny him nothing
The Scot, rejoicing in his exquisite skill, went to work without fuss or
bluster, and added the joy of artistic pride to his delight in plunder
Though Simm's manner seems the more chivalrous, it required not one
tithe of the courage which was Haggart's necessity On horseback, with
the semblance of a fire-arm, a man may easily challenge a coachful fendi handbag replicas of
women
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