Josephs Hospital, I liked and admired Catholicstheir values, devotion, and social conscienceI was also proud that the only Arkansan ever to run for national office, Senator Joe TRobinson, was the running mate of the first Catholic candidate for President, Governor Al Smith of New York, in 1928Like Kennedy, Smith carried Arkansas, thanks to Robinson Given my affinity for Catholics, its ironic that, besides music, my major extracurricular interest from ninth grade on was the Order of DeMolay, a boys organization sponsored by the MasonsI always thought the Masons and DeMolays were anti-Catholic, though I didnt understand whyDeMolay was, after all, a pre-Reformation martyr who died a believer at the hands of the Spanish InquisitionIt was not until I was doing research for this book that I learned that the Catholic Church had condemned Masons going back to the early eighteenth century as a dangerous authority-threatening institution, while the Masons dont ban people of any faith and, in fact, have had a few Catholic members The purpose of DeMolay was to foster black and white chanel handbag personal and civic virtues and friendship among its membersI enjoyed the camaraderie, memorizing all the parts of the rituals, moving up the offices to be master counselor of my local chapter, and going to the state conventions, with their vigorous politics and parties with the Rainbow Girls, DeMolays sister organizationI learned more about politics by participating in the state DeMolay election, though I never ran myselfThe cleverest man I supported for state master counselor was Bill Ebbert of JonesboroEbbert would have made a great mayor or congressional committee chairman in the old days when seniority ruledHe was funny, smart, tough, and as good at deal making as LBJOnce he was barreling down an Arkansas highway at ninety-five miles per hour when a state police car, with siren screaming, gave chaseEbbert had a shortwave radio, so he called the police to report a serious car wreck three miles behindThe police car got the message and quickly changed direction, leaving the speeding Ebbert home freeI wonder if the policeman ever figured it out Even though male rolex watches I enjoyed DeMolay, I didnt buy the idea that its secret rituals were a big deal that somehow made our lives more importantAfter I graduated out of DeMolay, I didnt follow a long line of distinguished Americans going back to George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Paul Revere into Masonry, probably because in my twenties I was in an anti-joining phase, and I didnt like what I mistakenly thought was Masonrys latent anti-Catholicism, or the segregation of blacks and whites into different branches (though when I was exposed to black Prince Hall Masonic conventions as governor, the members seemed to be having more fun on their own than the Masons I had known) Besides, I didnt need to be in a secret fraternity to have secretsI had real secrets of my own, rooted in Daddys alcoholism and abuseThey got worse when I was fourteen and in the ninth grade and my brother was only fourOne night Daddy closed the door to his bedroom, started screaming at Mother, then began to hit herLittle Roger was scared, just as I had been nine years earlier on the night of the chanel denim handbag gunshotFinally, I couldnt bear the thought of Mother being hurt and Roger being frightened anymoreI grabbed a golf club out of my bag and threw open their doorMother was on the floor and Daddy was standing over her, beating on herI told him to stop and said that if he didnt I was going to beat the hell out of him with the golf clubHe just caved, sitting down in a chair next to the bed and hanging his headIn her book, Mother says she called the police and had Daddy taken to jail for the nightI dont remember that, but I do know we didnt have any more trouble for a good whileI suppose I was proud of myself for standing up for Mother, but afterward I was sad about it, tooI just couldnt accept the fact that a basically good person would try to make his own pain go away by hurting someone elseI wish Id had someone to talk with about all this, but I didnt, so I had to figure it out for myself I came to accept the secrets of our house as a normal part of my lifeI never talked to anyone about themnot a friend, a neighbor, a teacher, a pastorMany years later when I ran for gucci coin wallet President, several of my friends told reporters they never knewOf course, as with most secrets, some people did knowDaddy couldnt be on good behavior with everyone but us, though he triedWhoever else knewfamily members, Mothers close friends, a couple of policemendidnt mention it to me, so I thought I had a real secret and kept quiet about itOur family policy was dont ask, dont tell The only other secret I had in grade school and junior high was sending part of my allowance to Billy Graham after his Little Rock crusadeI never told my parents or friends about that, eitherOnce when I was on my way to the mailbox near our driveway off Circle Drive with my money for Billy, I saw Daddy working in the backyardTo avoid being seen, I went out the front down to Park Avenue, turned right, and cut back through the driveway of the Perry Plaza Motel next doorOur house was on a hillPerry Plaza was on flat land belowWhen I got about halfway through the drive, Daddy looked down and saw me anyway with the letter in my handI proceeded to the mailbox, put the letter in, and came prada fairy bags h