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She knew I was there those awful two days after...Friday, February 5, 2010
She knew I was there those awful two days after Melly died, when she needed me to manage thingsThey all did, even India, bleating like a goat"What shall we do about the funeral, Scarlett? About the food for the callers? About the coffin? The pallbearers? The cemetery plot? The inscription on the headstone? The notice in the paper? Now they're leaning all over each other, weeping and wailingWell I won't give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry all by myself wit nobody to lean onIf I start, I might never be able to stopWhen I get to Tara, I can cryScarlett lifted her chin, her teeth clenched to stop their chattering from the cold, to hold back the choking in her throatThis will be over soon, and then I can go home to TaraThe jagged pieces of Scarlett's shattered life were all around there in Atlanta's Oakland CemeteryA tall spire of granite, gray stone streaked with gray rain, was somber memorial to the world that was gone forever, the carefree discounted louis vuitton bags world of her youth before the WarIt was the Confederate Memorial, symbol of the proud, heedless courage that had plunged the South with bright banners flying into destruction It stood for so many lives lost, the friends of her childhood, the gallants who had begged for waltzes and kisses in the days when she had no problems greater than which wide-skirted ballgown to wearIt stood for her first husband, Charles Hamilton, Melanie's brotherIt stood for the sons, brothers, husbands, fathers of all the rain-wet mourners on the small knoll where Melanie was being buried There were other graves, other markersFrank Kennedy, Scarlett's second husband And the small, terribly small, grave with the headstone that read EUGENIE VIcToRIA BUTLER, and under it BoNNIEHer last child, and the most lovedThe living, as well as the dead, were all round her, but she stood apartHalf of Atlanta was there, it seemedThe crowd had overflowed the church and now it spread in a wide, prada black bags uneven dark circle around the bitter slash of color in the gray rain, the open grave dug from Georgia's red clay for the body of Melanie WilkesThe front row of mourners held those who'd been closest to herWhite and black, their faces all streaked with tears, except Scarlett'sThe old coachman Uncle Peter stood with Dilcey and Cookie in a protective black triangle around Beau, Melanie's bewildered little boyThe older generation of Atlanta were there, with the tragically few descendants that remained to themThe Meades, the Whitings, the Merriwethers, the Elsings, their daughters and sons-in-law, Hugh Elsing the only living son; Aunt Pittypat Hamilton and her brother, Uncle Henry Hamilton, their ages-old feud forgotten in mutual grief for their niece Younger, but looking as old as the others, India Wilkes sheltered herself within the group and watched her brother, Ashley, from griefand guilt-shadowed eyesHe stood alone, like ScarlettHe was bare-headed cheap rolex watches in the rain, unaware of the proffered shelter of umbrellas, unconscious of the cold wetness, unable to accept the finality of the minister's words or the narrow coffin being lowered into the muddy red graveTall and thin and colorless, his pale gilt hair now almost gray, his pale stricken face as empty as his staring, unseeing gray eyesHe stood erect, his stance a salute, the inheritance of his ears as a gray-uniformed officer He stood motionless, without sensation or comprehensionHe was the center and the symbol of Scarlett's ruined lifeFor love of him she'd ignored the happiness that had been hers for the taking She'd turned her back on her husband, not seeing his love for her, not admitting her love for him, because wanting Ashley was always in the wayAnd now Rhett was gone, his only presence here a spray of warm golden autumn flowers among all the othersShe'd betrayed her only friend, scorned Melanie's stubborn loyalty and loveAnd now Melanie was louis vuitton duffle bag goneAnd even Scarlett's love for Ashley was gone, for she'd realized too late that the habit of loving him had long since replaced love itselfShe did not love him, and she never would againBut now, when she didn't want him, Ashley was hers, her legacy from MelanieShe had promised Melly she'd take care of him and of their childAshley was the cause of her life's destructionAnd the only thing left to her from it Scarlett stood apart and aloneThere was only cold gray space between her and the people she knew in Atlanta, space that once Melanie had filled, keeping her from isolation and ostracismThere was only the cold wet wind beneath the umbrella in the place where Rhett should have been to shelter her with his strong broad shoulders and his loveShe held her chin high, into the wind, accepting its assault without feeling itAll her senses were concentrated on the words that were her strength and her hopeThis will be over soon, and then I can go home to chanel j12 watches T

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