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He followed him wherever he walked, wistfully and...
6:53 PM, Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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He followed him wherever he walked, wistfully and sadly; and when he saw him sitting, so pale and quiet, in Eva?s room, holding before his eyes her little open Bible, though seeing no letter or word of what was in it, there was more sorrow to Tom in that still, fixed, tearless eye, than in all Marie?s moans and lamentations
In a few days the StClare family were back again in the city; Augustine, with the restlessness of grief, longing for another scene, to change the current of his thoughtsSo they left the house and garden, with its little grave, and came back to New Orleans; and StClare walked the streets busily, and strove to fill up the chasm in his heart with hurry and bustle, and change of place; and people who saw him in the street, or met him at the cafe, knew of his loss only by the weed on his hat; for there he was, smiling and talking, and reading the newspaper, and speculating on politics, and attending to business matters; and who could see that all this smiling outside was but a hollowed shell over a heart that was a dark and silent sepulchre?
?MrClare is a singular man,? said Marie to Miss Ophelia, in a complaining tone?I used to think, if there was anything in the world he did love, it was our dear little Eva; but he seems to be forgetting her very easilyI cannot ever get him to talk about herI really did think he would show more feeling!?
?Still waters run deepest, they used to tell me,? said Miss Ophelia, oracularly
?O, I don?t believe in such things; it?s all talkIf people have feeling, they will show it,?they can?t help it; but, then, it?s a great misfortune to have feelingI?d rather have been made like StMy feelings prey upon me so!?
?Sure, Missis, Mas?r StClare is gettin? thin as a shaderThey say, he don?t never eat nothin?,? said Mammy?I know he don?t forget Miss Eva; I know there couldn?t nobody,?dear, little, blessed cretur!? she added, wiping her eyes
?Well, at all events, he has no consideration for me,? said Marie; ?he hasn?t spoken one word of sympathy, and he must know how much more a mother feels than any man can
?The heart knoweth its own bitterness,? said Miss Ophelia, gravely
?That?s just what I thinkI know just what I feel,?nobody else seems toEva used to, but she is gone!? and Marie lay back on her lounge, and began to sob disconsolately
Marie was one of those unfortunately constituted mortals, in whose eyes whatever is lost and gone assumes a value which it never had in possessionWhatever she had, she seemed to survey only to pick flaws in it; but, once fairly away, there was no end to her valuation of it
While this conversation was taking place in the parlor another was going on in St
Tom, who was always uneasily following his master about, had seen him go to his library, some hours before; and, after vainly waiting for him to come out, determined, at last, to make an errand inClare lay on his lounge, at the further end of the roomHe was lying on his face, with Eva?s Bible open before him, at a little distanceTom walked up, and stood by the sofaHe hesitated; and, while he was hesitating, StClare suddenly raised himself upThe honest face, so full of grief, and with such an imploring expression of affection and sympathy, struck his masterHe laid his hand on Tom?s, and bowed down his forehead on it
?O, Tom, my boy, the whole world is as empty as an egg-shell
?I know it, Mas?r,?I know it,? said Tom; ?but, oh, if Mas?r could only look up,?up where our dear Miss Eva is,?up to the dear Lord Jesus!?
?Ah, Tom! I do look up; but the trouble is, I don?t see anything, when I do, I wish I could
?It seems to be given to children, and poor, honest fellows, like you, to see what we can?t,? said St?How comes it??
?Thou has ?hid from the wise and prudent, and revealed unto babes,?? murmured Tom; ??even so, Father, for so it seemed good in thy sight?
?Tom, I don?t believe,?I can?t believe,?I?ve got the habit of doubting,? said St?I want to believe this Bible,?and I can?t
?Dear Mas?r, pray to the good Lord,??Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief?
?Who knows anything about anything?? said shop St
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