| Why should she lose a pleasure which she
has shewn herself so deserving of??
?If it had been given to me in the first instance,? said Fanny, ?I
should not have thought of returning it; but being her brother?s
present, is not it fair to suppose that she would rather not part with
it, when it is not wanted??
?She must not suppose it not wanted, not acceptable, at least: and
its having been originally her brother?s gift makes no difference; for
as she was not prevented from offering, nor you from taking it on
that account, it ought not to prevent you from keeping itNo doubt
it is handsomer than mine, and fitter for a ballroom
?No, it is not handsomer, not at all handsomer in its way, and, for
my purpose, not half so fitThe chain will agree with William?s
cross beyond all comparison better than the necklace
?For one night, Fanny, for only one night, if it be a sacrifice; I am
sure you will, upon consideration, make that sacrifice rather than
give pain to one who has been so studious of your comfortMiss
Crawford?s attentions to you have been?not more than you were
justly entitled to?I am the last person to think that could be, but
they have been invariable; and to be returning them with what must
have something the air of ingratitude, though I know it could never
have the meaning, is not in your nature, I am sureWear the necklace,
as you are engaged to do, to-morrow evening, and let the chain,
which was not ordered with any reference to the ball, be kept for
commoner occasionsI would not have the shadow
of a coolness between the two whose intimacy I have been observing
with the greatest pleasure, and in whose characters there is so
much general resemblance in true generosity and natural delicacy as
to make the few slight differences, resulting principally from situation,
no reasonable hindrance to a perfect friendshipI would not
have the shadow of a coolness arise,? he omega ladies watch constellation repeated, his voice sinking
a little, ?between the two dearest objects I have on earth
He was gone as he spoke; and Fanny remained to tranquillise herself
as she couldShe was one of his two dearest?that must support
herBut the other: the first! She had never heard him speak so openly
before, and though it told her no more than what she had long
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perceived, it was a stab, for it told of his own convictions and viewsHe would marry Miss CrawfordIt was a stab, in
spite of every long-standing expectation; and she was obliged to repeat
again and again, that she was one of his two dearest, before the
words gave her any sensationCould she believe Miss Crawford to
deserve him, it would be?oh, how different would it be?how far
more tolerable! But he was deceived in her: he gave her merits which
she had not; her faults were what they had ever been, but he saw them
no longerTill she had shed many tears over this deception, Fanny
could not subdue her agitation; and the dejection which followed
could only be relieved by the influence of fervent prayers for his happiness
It was her intention, as she felt it to be her duty, to try to overcome
all that was excessive, all that bordered on selfishness, in her
affection for EdmundTo call or to fancy it a loss, a disappointment,
would be a presumption for which she had not words strong
enough to satisfy her own humilityTo think of him as Miss Crawford
might be justified in thinking, would in her be insanityTo her he
could be nothing under any circumstances; nothing dearer than a
friendWhy did such an idea occur to her even enough to be reprobated
and forbidden? It ought not to have touched on the confines
of her imaginationShe would endeavour to be rational, and to
deserve the right of judging of Miss Crawford?s character, and the
privilege of true solicitude for him by a sound intellect and an honest
heart
She had all chanel pearl necklace the heroism of principle, and was determined to do
her duty; but having also many of the feelings of youth and nature,
let her not be much wondered at, if, after making all these good
resolutions on the side of self-government, she seized the scrap of
paper on which Edmund had begun writing to her, as a treasure
beyond all her hopes, and reading with the tenderest emotion these
words, ?My very dear Fanny, you must do me the favour to accept?
locked it up with the chain, as the dearest part of the giftIt was the
only thing approaching to a letter which she had ever received from
him; she might never receive another; it was impossible that she
ever should receive another so perfectly gratifying in the occasion
and the styleTwo lines more prized had never fallen from the pen
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of the most distinguished author?never more completely blessed
the researches of the fondest biographerThe enthusiasm of a woman?s
love is even beyond the biographer?sTo her, the handwriting itself,
independent of anything it may convey, is a blessednessNever were
such characters cut by any other human being as Edmund?s commonest
handwriting gave! This specimen, written in haste as it was,
had not a fault; and there was a felicity in the flow of the first four
words, in the arrangement of ?My very dear Fanny,? which she could
have looked at for ever
Having regulated her thoughts and comforted her feelings by this
happy mixture of reason and weakness, she was able in due time to
go down and resume her usual employments near her aunt Bertram,
and pay her the usual observances without any apparent want of
spirits
Thursday, predestined to hope and enjoyment, came; and opened
with more kindness to Fanny than such self-willed, unmanageable
days often volunteer, for soon after breakfast a very friendly note
was brought from MrCrawford to William, stating that as he found
himself obliged pink gucci bag to go to London on the morrow for a few days, he
could not help trying to procure a companion; and therefore hoped
that if William could make up his mind to leave Mansfield half a
day earlier than had been proposed, he would accept a place in his
carriageCrawford meant to be in town by his uncle?s
accustomary late dinner-hour, and William was invited to dine with
him at the Admiral?sThe proposal was a very pleasant one to
William himself, who enjoyed the idea of travelling post with four
horses, and such a good-humoured, agreeable friend; and, in likening
it to going up with despatches, was saying at once everything
in favour of its happiness and dignity which his imagination
could suggest; and Fanny, from a different motive, was exceedingly
pleased; for the original plan was that William should go up
by the mail from Northampton the following night, which would
not have allowed him an hour?s rest before he must have got into a
Portsmouth coach; and though this offer of MrCrawford?s would
rob her of many hours of his company, she was too happy in having
William spared from the fatigue of such a journey, to think of
anything elseSir Thomas approved of it for another reasonHis
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Jane Austen
nephew?s introduction to Admiral Crawford might be of service
The Admiral, he believed, had interestUpon the whole, it was a
very joyous noteFanny?s spirits lived on it half the morning, deriving
some accession of pleasure from its writer being himself to
go away
As for the ball, so near at hand, she had too many agitations and
fears to have half the enjoyment in anticipation which she ought to
have had, or must have been supposed to have by the many young
ladies looking forward to the same event in situations more at ease,
but under circumstances of less novelty, less interest, less peculiar
gratification, than would be attributed to herMiss Price, known
only by name to half rolex watches online the people invited, was now to make her first
appearance, and must be regarded as the queen of the eveningWho
could be happier than Miss Price? But Miss Price had not been
brought up to the trade of coming out; and had she known in what
light this ball was, in general, considered respecting her, it would
very much have lessened her comfort by increasing the fears she
already had of doing wrong and being looked atTo dance without
much observation or any extraordinary fatigue, to have strength
and partners for about half the evening, to dance a little with
Edmund, and not a great deal with MrCrawford, to see William
enjoy himself, and be able to keep away from her aunt Norris, was
the height of her ambition, and seemed to comprehend her greatest
possibility of happinessAs these were the best of her hopes, they
could not always prevail; and in the course of a long morning, spent
principally with her two aunts, she was often under the influence of
much less sanguine viewsWilliam, determined to make this last
day a day of thorough enjoyment, was out snipe-shooting; Edmund,
she had too much reason to suppose, was at the Parsonage; and left
alone to bear the worrying of MrsNorris, who was cross because
the housekeeper would have her own way with the supper, and whom
she could not avoid though the housekeeper might, Fanny was worn
down at last to think everything an evil belonging to the ball, and
when sent off with a parting worry to dress, moved as languidly
towards her own room, and felt as incapable of happiness as if she
had been allowed no share in it
As she walked slowly upstairs she thought of yesterday; it had
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been about the same hour that she had returned from the Parsonage,
and found Edmund in the East room?Suppose I were to find
him there again to-day!? said she to herself, in a fond indulgence of
fancy
?Fanny,? said a voice at that moment chanel purse styles near |