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She gave me a sickly...She gave me a sickly coming-down-with-the-flu smile"I'm also wondering how I'm going to get us out of hereAll at once the seagrape seemed to be pushing in and the interweaving palms overhead seemed thickerI realized I could smell the growth around us, a ropy aroma that seemed to come to life halfway down my throatAnd why not? 156 It came from live things, after all; they were crowded in on both sides "Dad?" The itch was worseIt was red, that itch, as red as the stink in my nose and throat was greenThat itch you got when you were stuck in the burn, stuck in the char "Daddy, I'm sorry but I think I'm going to vomit Not a burn, not a char, it was a car, she opened the door of the car and leaned out, holding onto the wheel with one ham, and then I heard knock off chanel her sowing up My right eye came over red and I thought I can do thisI just have to get my poor old **** together I opened my door, reaching cross-body to do it, and got outLurched out, holding the top of the door to keep from sprawling headfirst into a wall of seagrape and the interwoven branches of a halfburied banyanThe bushes and branches were so close to the side of the car that they scraped me as I made my way up to the front Half my vision (RED) 157 seemed to be bleeding scarlet, I felt the tip of a pine-bough scrape across the wrist of - I could have sworn it - my right arm, and I thought I can do this, I MUST do this as I heard Ilse vomit againI was aware that it was much hotter in that narrow lane than it should have been, even with the greenroof louis vuitton mahina overheadI had enough mind left in my mind to wonder what we'd been thinking, coming down this road in the first placeBut of course it had seemed like nothing but a lark at the time Ilse was still leaning out, hanging onto the wheel with her right handSweat stood on her forehead in clear beads"Oh boy-" "Push over, Ilse "Daddy, what are you going to do?" As if she couldn't seeAnd all at once both the words drive and back were unavailable to me, anywayAll I could have articulated in that moment was us, the most useless word in the English language when it stands by itselfI felt the anger rising in my throat like hot waterBecause the anger was, of course, red 158 "Get us out of here Thinking: Don't you get mad at herDon't you start shouting no matter whatOh imitation prada handbags for Christ's sake, please don't "Daddy, you, can't-" "Yes The habit of obedience dies hard - especially hard, maybe, between fathers and daughtersAnd of course she was sickShe pushed over and I got behind the wheel, sitting down in my clumsy stupid backwards fashion and using my hand to lift in my rotten right legMy whole right side was buzzing, as if undergoing a low-level electric shock I closed my eyes tightly and thought: I CAN do this, goddammit, and I don't need any stuffed rag bitch to see me through, either When I looked at the world again, some of that redness - and some of the anger, thank God - had drained out of itI dropped the transmission into reverse and began to back up slowlyI couldn't lean out as Ilse had done, because I had no right hand to chanel cabas bag steer withI used the rear-view instead In my head, ghostly, I heard: Meep-meep-meep 159 "Please don't drive us off the road," Ilse saidI'm too sick and you're too crippled-up "I won't, Monica," I said, but at that moment she leaned out the window to vomit again and I don't think she heard me xiii Slowly, slowly, I backed away from the place where Ilse had stopped, telling myself Easy does it and Slow and steady wins the raceMy hip snarled as we thumped back over the strangler fig roots burrowing under the roadOn a couple of occasions I heard seagrape branches scree along the side of the carThe Hertz people weren't going to be happy, but they were the least of my worries that afternoon Little by little the light brightened as the foliage cleared out rolex gmt master overhead11:28 PM - Tuesday, May 4, 2010
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